Something just happened that changed my world! I feel like this was meant to be, but I can´t explain why.
There was a birthday party for one of my closest friends. I didn´t feel like going, you know? I´ve been feeling down, but she wouldn’t have forgiven me because we’re really close. Gatherings stress me out, I was miserable and trying to figure out how to leave, when I saw her!
Kate happened to be my friend´s cousin and when I first saw her my brain exploded and I couldn’t make sense of what I was seeing. Is she a girl or a boy? I asked my friend. Oh, she was born a boy but always knew she was a girl, so she started changing everything. “What, how, who?” I couldn’t make sense of it, “is that even possible?”
“Hey Kate,” shouted my friend, “come here! This is my good friend, Captain.” My heart was pounding crazily, and she kind of giggled when she saw me blushing. We started talking about her experience and her story blew my mind. She told me it’s not changing, it’s called transitioning, which is finding a way to feel comfortable with who I am. I kept asking questions and she seemed happy to answer everything.
Weren’t you afraid? “Hell yes!” she said, “I thought it was impossible for me to do something about it, but one day my mom caught me wearing a miniskirt and I thought I was going to pass out, I felt so ashamed. But my mom’s reaction was the best, she hugged me and said it was ok and that I could tell her how I felt. She took me to talk to a therapist who told me this is a human thing that some people experience and that it’s ok. Now I’m taking some baby steps like dressing the way I want and it makes me so happy!”
I asked her if I could speak to her in private, I needed to take this chance! And I said: “girl, I feel the same and I don’t know what to do!” I started crying and she hugged me for a long time, saying it´ll be ok. We’ve been in touch ever since and I have learned a ton of things about what I can do.
Kate told me that it´s not healthy to keep hiding how I feel and that I should tell my mom, because she’s the person I trust the most. I wasn’t sure she would react in the same way as Kate´s mom, but I finally told her.
She freaked out…
I’ve cried for five days, saving it for when Charly goes to school so he doesn’t see me. A mom’s worst nightmare just became a reality: he told me he always felt he was a girl and that he wanted to go to therapy to understand his feelings.
Sure, I´m all for therapy in some cases, but I never saw this coming and I don’t know what to do with this, apart from making him understand that this is nonsense?
I’m not someone who just accepts everything at face value, so I’ve read some articles on the internet and I’m pretty sure that he’s suffering from so-called “social contagion”. Apparently, there is a whole “trans” agenda and people pushing gender changes on kids to make a buck by pressuring kids who are feeling they are the opposite sex that they should follow this path. Social contagion comes from other kids who are making gender changes and doing horrible things with their bodies.
Charly told me about that Kate person, who is doing those changes, and made a big impression on Charly, who is now confused. Yes, that’s it! What kind of doctor is allowing that? And now, Charly is saying he wants to see the same doctor and I don´t think it’s a good idea to expose him to some kind of brainwashing.
I feel for Charly, I really do, he must be feeling horrible, and as a mom, I need to help in any way I can. I heard that there are some therapies out there that lovingly bring them back to reason. If that’s what works in this case, I´ll make sure to give him everything he needs, no matter the cost.
Luckily, my friend Rachel has studied Psychology, so I pushed myself to open up and tell her about it; although this is not her specialty, she directed me to a therapist who knows all about it. I trust Rachel, this therapist is for sure a much better choice for Charly to start with.
Call me old-fashioned, but I’m praying a lot that he can forget about it, you know? Something gave me hope: he said he doesn’t like boys, he likes girls, so he cannot be gay. I´m meeting Dr. Stewart this afternoon and, together with him, I´ll help my kid come out of confusion.
Rachel recommended that I don’t confront him and to be loving and affirming of his experience, but I had exactly the opposite reaction when he told me about it, and I could tell he was suffering because I’m not all accepting. That’s why I now try not to bring it up, and I must cry in solitude. I´ve never felt so lonely in my whole life!
But one thing is certain, I love and support my kid and will do whatever I have to to make sure he doesn’t make any major decisions he’ll regret later.
Go to Part 3…